How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
