hotel room ftw
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
