'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
