Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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