Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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