I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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