so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
