is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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