I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
