fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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