if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
