Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
