? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
