Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
