Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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