I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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