Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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