Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
