I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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