That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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