Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
