I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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