I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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