If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
