thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
