Even the bartender felt bad for me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
