textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
