His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
