She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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