Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
