I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize