I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
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The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize