Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
