You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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