Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
