I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
