he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
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Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.