Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple

(404): View more from Georgia

i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs

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(302): View more from Delaware

and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love

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(415): View more from California

There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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(623): View more from Arizona

No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.

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