4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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