Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
