There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
