I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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