i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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