You're my little dorito
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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