im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
