Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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