he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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