Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
