I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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