were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
