how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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