I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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