i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
