We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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