Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
