I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
