Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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