no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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