TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
