and you said cock pushups were impossible
home. puking in laundry basket.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
