His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
