I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize