bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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