coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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