if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Everyone says I win the strip club
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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