Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
