lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
