we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
