he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize