she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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